As If

There was D, who almost, and should’ve-happened except I came to a point that don’t like him as a person anymore. I didn’t know if dad actually panicked because I was in a band with boys. But we had a discourse over that, and I continued on with being in a band with boys.

There was K, who was a, is there a was-it-been? But even before it could be defined, it was no longer. We spent a valentines day together. There was J, with whom I shared a threatening life experience. That’s probably why he means so much to me. It was timeless, in time, and it all happened beyond time. But it was human.

There was A, about whom I lied to dad so much. And of course, G and O who were my firsts. I don’t know if dad ever knew.

The Luck I Have Can Make a Good Girl Go Bad

(image from lelove)

Hmm. So many things I still don’t know. I don’t know what I should feel, what I am actually feeling, and if I should be feeling something else, entirely. I thought I finally resolved this issue, in the context of love, when I found Roland Barthes’ A Lovers Discourse.

That book laid it all out, named it all out, decoded, defined and differentiated the many variables of  love.

It seems that the strangeness many find in love, I found in death. Hindi ko masyado maintindihan.

In other news, Sofia Coppola has always expressed my many different uncertainties of the past. Having been changed by the present circumstance, I thought it would be perfectly understandable, if a little sad, should I no longer find a friend in her movies.

Thankfully it looks like the director found the whispers and the tone that I haven’t been able to find. Buti nalang. See trailer of  “Somewhere”

Sweet Saturday

(photo from wishfulnal)

So sloth took over. Am here in my place, enjoying pirate internet connection to update you on my whereabouts. It’s not like you care or are actually interested. It’s just, am enjoying this pirate internet connection, so.

Instead of trainhopping as originally planned, roommate and I made some deep dish chocolate chip cookie. So awesome, I had two pieces upon first taste! Mmm-mmm. Will post photos as soon as possible.

EDIT: Here’s the Deep-dish!

About to re-watch Up in Smoke, as well. The first time I watched it, I was all 420-ed out. The second time was last night. Sleep took over. So now, yeah.

I received a few invites for tonight but let’s see. I still feel like the photo above: silly and carefree. I really don’t feel like committing my Saturday night just yet.

four twenty plus one

Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan make more authentic my mellow yellow mood this morning. It’s very good.

Anyway, when i saw this couple on The Selby, i was ambivalent about sharing them here because, well—do you ever feel like you need to keep a few things so that you can, you become legit to call them “your own”?

I’m sorry if that may sound selfish but I do get that feeling sometimes. It doesn’t mean I’m being dishonest, it just means I am unsure on my convictions regarding, hence the better thing to do is to shut up. That was the feeling I had about the first time I came across this couple on The Selby.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I think they are super cute! What makes, well, what made me ambivalent was that I thought them too cute.

Not that it’s a bad thing, being too cute. Always a good thing.

Anyway, they got married! In a city hall! At the New York City Hall! Can you hear me screaming?! See me jumping?!

Aaaand I crash.

So yeah. They got married!

City Hall Weddings, I’m a fan of city hall weddings.

Anyhooters, Check out their home! Melikey, very much.

I like the mushroom lamp here and the big letters in their kitchen below:

I am also a fan of backyard living. So the following are grrrreat:

(photos from the selby. wedding photos from a cup of jo)

Happy 420

at mint, the toy museum in SG

at the supermarket

a j and a carton of bubblegum

i hate to be a cliche but here is a song for you, with much love from bob