This…

…has become completely irrelevant. Am no longer the person I used to be, when I started this over a year ago. Will have to shut this down.

But, you know, like anybody really cares. Because even I don’t! And I’m already the owner. Gah.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Thankfully, yday wasn’t as horrible as I had expected. It was not as planned, but at least I got a few things done. I’m still feeling bleh. Resolved that I am now a different person, a matured person if I may add, I’m helping myself to happy…by listing five of my favorite things.

1. Cute Umbrellas

That’s my blue and white stripes umbrella my niece is holding up. I can’t leave home without an umbrella. Not that I keep a lot of it—I only have one in my possession at any given time—but  it’s one of those things I check out and splurge on when there is a sale, and I badly need one. So useful!

2. Pockets

(photo from fredflare)

What is not to love about pockets? They are a bonus that may be holding a bonus! My love for pockets must’ve come from my elementary uniform. Two pockets on our blouse, the size of which was perfect for 1) holding the  sandwiches that lolo used to make for our baon. and 2) holding the brownie that my mom would buy from her colleague. A fave holding two faves can only be a winner.

3. Sandwiches!

(photo from scanwiches)

Could’ve also come from my elementary days when my grandfather would unfailingly make us a sandwich everyday. I love love love sandwiches. They’re so easy to make and they make for a complete meal!

4. Lunch boxes

(photo from kaboodle)

I like having home-packed lunch; I think this is my family’s way of showing love. Where I used to put sandwiches in my pockets, I now put them in lunch boxes. Reckon, that is only proper, no? With utensils and sometimes, a tetrapack of drink. I don’t like people using lunch boxes to be fashionable or hip or trendy. You know, when they use them as purses or bags. But you know, whatever floats their boats

5. Notebooks

(from fredflare)

I like writing my notes down. Besides, you never know when thoughts would come flutter by so having a notebook on hand is almost always helpful. Right now, I have two in my bag. I have just retrieved a new notebook from my stash because I had just finished a journal.

Well, what do you know? I’m already feeling better! Maria of Sound of Music was right, after all. You should try this exercise next time the blues start aplaying.

ps. Oh, but I gasta include:

6. sporks

(photo from backpackinglight)

Been eating my packed lunch off sporks ever since I can remember. I love sporks!

Oh no

It’s Saturday…and I don’t have paint. I feel too bleh to proceed with my plans but, but not doing anything and not accomplishing anything doesn’t sit well with me. I’m undecided about a few things:

• whether this wanting to do so many things is a mere cover-up for the emptiness I feel or no
• whether this wanting to do so many things is a way of helping myself move on or no
• whether I’ve finally reached the bottom of the pit (because during the immediate days of the death, I kept analyzing myself and coming up with the conclusion that I was alright) or this is just hormones

==

Have you tried breaking up with a friend? I am contemplating doing so because I realized the things I have (not) been doing have been dependent on someone else’s whims.

Last night, I was feeling negative towards her already and then on the bus ride home, I tried analyzing it and realized I should be mad at myself for allowing that to happen, for allowing her to dictate my action, or non-action. I mean, I could’ve gotten the paint when I went to the mall yday already. Why did I have to reserve buying it for a later trip to the mall when said friend she was coming with me, which I should’ve known wasn’t gonna happen because said friend is the personification of sloth?

So now, at 930am, I want to go to the hardware and buy the paint and do my project as planned just to show her, except now, it doesn’t excite me as it had days ago. And I don’t feel that “just to show her” is a good enough reason to proceed. Doing the project “just to show her” taints the project with negativity.

==

I am worried about so many things. There are three deadlines to beat and I have done zilch. There is a festival I want to go to, where I can roadtest this camera, the review of which is one of those deadlines. But I know when I get there, I’ll be self-conscious about taking pictures because every single photojournalist I know will be there. And I’ll only want to listen to music, and socialize, and not take pictures.

===

What is wrong with me?

Can’t Wait for Saturday!!!

Y’all know how serious I am with my Saturdays. See, it’s Thursday and already I have shit planned. From the looks of it, it’s safe to call it Home Ec Saturday:

• In the morning, I’ll do this paint job that I’ve been dying to do since I saw this on Real Living Philippines.

Hello there, project!

• And since I know it won’t take the whole day, the afternoon will see me hitting the kitchen. Yahoooo! On the menu, veggie burgers like this.

Made with mushrooms and love

• Finally, I just saw a friend on fb say how she’ll go to the festival I canceled on because of what I had planned. But I saw that she’ll be going at night so maybe…

Woohoo!

Ok but first, Thursday and Friday.

Haha cute

For all you facebookers like meself! Haha I most certainly want this. From elastica